Duck Duck Cougar?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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