What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
