You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
should my penis look like a turkey
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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