Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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