something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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