I just pynch a tree in the face
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
