but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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