If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
