Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
