Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize