this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
