Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
