After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Drake has all the answers
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
