He asked to "fluff my boner.."
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
