I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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