Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My feet surprised me
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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