So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
