we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
