East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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