she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
