a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Success! We fucked roommates!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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