i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
is wine microwaveable?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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