yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This is my gift to your gina
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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