I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The Olympian is in my bed
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
