I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
