Someone shit on the floor
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We have started to decorate penises.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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