It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
