my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
