Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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