A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
