i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
