Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize