we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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