I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How does one acquire holy water?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
