Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
