naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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