My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
they need to just BURY HIM!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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