ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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