so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
