he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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