are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
