I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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