some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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