We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize