white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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