oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
