My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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