North Korea, Best Korea!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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