You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
