Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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