sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
