Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
