I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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