i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
