The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize