are you still at the devil's house?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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