Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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