You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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