i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Randomize
