i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
