Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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