I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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