If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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